Salvador Dali (1937) |
I am a watcher. I may be mistaken as the watchman of this of valley of sand and rocks. But as I said I am only a watcher . I observe and draw my conclusions.
Do you see the people in the distance, dancing, gesticulating, playing rope? Micah sitting on the ground expelling the miasma of his nightmares, Anish prancing around on his make believe horse? They live in that house below the hill . They come to their playground and revel in their limited freedom. They shout, sing, shed their selves and for a while become whoever else they would rather be. They long to be run away, be completely free and paradoxically are terrified of freedom.
They point at me and whisper amongst themselves. Look at him . He's watching us. It's because of him we can't escape. He reports all those who try to run away . Have you seen the heap of bones behind the hills? They are the remains of those who tried to escape.
They forget that they have made of me what they want me to be, a watchman against their desire to escape and their fear of freedom.
And even if they did step out into this endless desert , where would they go? They have long since lost any sense of direction. They abandoned their compass when they came here. Like those poor people who tried to get away , they would go round and round and eventually exhausted crumple into a heap of bones, bleached white by the sand and the desert wind.
So is there no way out? Are all those who have wandered to this no man's land condemned to be here for eternity. I know of some who have left leaving no trace behind them. They know it too in the deepest, darkest, recess of their minds. But they are terrified. It is too hard. The way is haunted by creatures of their worst nightmares.
There are some who have done it though, gone down the path , opened the door and taken a leap of faith into the other land; that land which is so close that only a hairline crack separates it from theirs. And yet it seems to them so terribly far, such an impossible journey to undertake.
Arunima Choudhury
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